Letter to the squirrel community

This is an ultimatum issued for the entire squirrel community...a warning to mend your ways...to treat your nerves...and to fix your brain...

 

The members of your species have failed to realize that evolution has not done much justice to you....neither physically nor intellectually... 

Yet...nothing stops you from rushing forward....and challenge the human race, their intellect, their sensibility and everything that holds their nerves together...

And somehow I feel...no...i truly believe..that I AM one of your special targets..the one that currently tops your hitlist!!!

There has been several encounters..none of them fake for sure...

Your comrades wait for me at several points on the 3 kilometer stretch that i pass each day...

 

Their strategy is the same...

1. Watch out for my Honda Pleasure....

2. When it comes into vicinty...dash for the road..as if you have to catch the metro on the other side..

3. Immedietly on reaching the centre point of the road.. with the Honda just an inch from your fur.... HALT!!!

4. Then  break into a jig..or maybe a salsa...( one guy even did the gagnam style!!!)

5. Glance back and make sure that the Honda has toppled..

6. Then race back and continue the bum shake from the safe side of the road...

 

As for me...its not only the brakes that have failed each time...but more so...my nerves!!!

 

I gained some insight into your psychology after watching ICE-AGE and the way two members of your species refused to let go of that nut (even as the movie progressed into its fourth phase) only left me more frustrated or rather terrorised!!!

 

The real terror happened when yesterday i saw one of you..at the centre of the road...crushed to death..with all viscera out !!!..(I SEARCHED AMONGST THE REMNANTS FOR A BRAIN AND AS EXPECTED..COULDN'T FIND ONE)..

 But then i realized to my horror....that you have shifted into the 'suicide attack' mode...and there lay the first member of your terrorist suicide cadre..

As for me...i am thinking of multiple strategies to face this threat..

1. Change the number plate

2. Put up an 'I surrender'placard with a white flag on the head light...(Not very heroic..but then.... i dont want martyrdom)

3. Hold a peace talk....with a member of another third species as the mediator ( maybe pigeons can help...You can relate easily to them  intellectually  and i too have certain regards for their pooping ability)

Any more suggestions are welcome...

LETS TALK THIS OUT...